REAL TIME JOKES…
Collected from actual matrimonial ads of men taken from shaadi.com in their COMPLETE ORIGINAL FORM, of course with some comments within brackets.
Your comments too are welcome.
DISCLAIMER: I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar
after reading these snippets.
* pranav my family histoy my two brother two sister and fater&mother
sister complity marred
** (Somebody please explain in comments section how to get married
* Hello To Viewvers My Name is Shiva , I am single i dont have female,
If any one whant to marrie to me u can visite to my home. I am not a good
education but i working all field in bangalroe.. if u like me u welcome to my
heart...when ever u whant to meet pls viset my resident or send u letter..
yours Regards Shiva ~*~
* i want very simple girl. from brahmin educated family from orissa state
he is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework
* Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. She
may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life
can run smoothly. thank you
** (The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)
* She should be good looking and should have a service. She Shoulsd have
one brother and one sister. She should be educated.
** (is it not unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criterion !)
* I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I
love to make friendship. Becauese friendship is a first step of love. I am
looking for my dreamgirl who will love me more than i. Because i love
myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on .......
hold my hand forever !!!
** (effect of being a regular film buff?)
* i am simple boy.I have lot of problemin mylife because ofmylucknow i
amlooking onegirl she caremeandloveme lot lot lot
** (straight from the heart. Isn’t it?)
* My wife should be as 'Parvati' as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tulsi
as in KSBKBT......
** (Ok I haven't seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding too
much, ain't he?)
* i want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house
but while steping out of house she should give recpect to our cast
** (some M.C.P.?)
* HYE I AM A GOOD LOKING BOY,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LOUGH.I BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD. THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN
GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFFESION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LOUGH.
** (all of us are “loughing”!!)
* whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone
wife and she must think of the future life if she is toolike this she would
be called the woman of the lamp
** (I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this guy wants)
* i love my patner i marriage the patner ok i search my patner and i love
the patner ok thik hai the patner has a graduate ok
** (I am again clueless but I liked the use of "ok". The person is
suffering from "Ok-syndrome")
* HI IAM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE T.V AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND
1 BONWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK
(the "ok syndrome" again)
*iam very simpel and hanest. i have three sister one brother and parent.
I am doing postal sarvice and tailor master my original resdence at
kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist.
** (actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??)
* my name is farhan and i am unmarried. pleaes you marrige me pleaes
pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes pleaes
** (height of desperation! )
* Iwant one girl who love me or my mother. She love me heartly or she
havea frank she's skin colour 'normal'not a black or not a whitey. IThink the main
think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful.
but iam not a handsome boy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a
good boy. My father already expired . iam ''AEKLAUTA''. THE CHOICE IS
* iam kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.She was marred.
* I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOUR. I DON'T HAVE ANY HABIT.
(may be the poor guy meant no BAD habits)
* hello i am a good charactarised man. i want to run my life happily.i
divorced my first wife.her charactor is not good'. i expect the good
minded and clean habits girl who may be in the same caste or other
caste accepted ...
(but credit cards not accepted..???)
* my colour is black,but my heart is white.i like social service
* i'm looking out for who lives in bombay, girl simple who trust me lot
should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY.
(Now that criterion is a must, isn't it?)
* to be married on jan-2005. working man perferable
** (this guy has fixed the marriage date too! Poor desperate guy!)
* i would like a beautyfull girl. and i do not want her any treasure.
because girl is the maharani.
** (Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)
* ssc failed three times and worked with privated ltd company which not
paying salary at present.
(Poor guy. Any takers again?)